My Thoughtful Spot

I won't be online a lot this summer, for a variety of reasons. I'm leaving this to keep you laughing. I will try and post pictures as I'm able to be online!!

James is in the driveway (snow and icefree) playing with his tonkas and inside I have a pepper plant that is well over an inch high, AND two tomato sprouts. I am a happy girl.

Wednesdays are by far my craziest days and yet they seem to be becoming my blog days. Odd. Good unwinding for me perhaps

This evening took a bit of a twist as I left awana and headed straight to my little princesses' home to babysit them (as well as their brother the prince) so their parents could meet at the church with some missionaries and our pastor. The prince was asleep, but the two princesses were awake. The oldest was put to bed by papa before he left, the youngest had her bottle and fell asleep in my arms while we paced 'round and 'round and 'round the kitchen. I love having little ones in my life. Having my house full of teenagers is wonderful, especially when you add 7 yr old James in there - but having t he little girls to play with and Caleb to make life complete --- well, I'm so thankful. It's rather like grandchildren while I wait for grandchildren!

I came home with Jurassic Park tonight. Tony told me to make sure and wait until after midnight to watch it. I told him it would be HIM I'd be calling when I was scared out of my mind at 1 am!!! lol. I also brought a Bibleman to try out. Never seen any of those before. Heard of them but thats it.

Well, bedtime is upon me. I have next to nothing worth saying tonight. Perhaps in lieu of 1000 words I will find a picture worth posting....

There IS hope for spring.. Daffodil beginnings!

Lest anyone be *too* green with envy... We have PLENTY of snow. Can you find the six foot plus grape arbour out there?

So it's been too long again. Life is just... so... life! I'm trying hard to be motivated to do what needs to be done in a day. Mostly I want to just enjoy being able to do what I like doing and forget what NEEDS to be done. I have to find a balance, and I'm working on it.

Today was a little bit looney. I was supposed to take Kate to cubbies this morning, but hubbie got home from work and had had 15 min sleep all night. I wasn't going to leave him with two kids. (for their sake.. or his... I'll let you guess! haha). So, I quickly made another arrangement for her (thank goodness for neighbours who are also church family and friends! and got her where she needed to be. You'd think with the morning suddenly free I would have accomplished a lot. ha ha ha. I didn't.

Then my fellow partner in crime from awana called and asked if I wanted to go store shopping with her. Why, of course. What woman turns down an opportunity to hit up the dollar store?? So, we did that, and had a great time too I might add. Got home from that and .. well, I shoulda worked then but I ended up napping. I really did need to, have been SO tired. Then it was supper time and time for awana with the older kids. We had a great time but I am glad to be HOME. Tomorrow we have to go to St John with B rianna for eurodynamics and I just do. not. feel. like. going. But who's asking. At least hubbie and i get to hang out together and I'll take along my puter so she can watch movies or some such thing. That'll help. Friday I will be SO GLAD to stay home! I'm really so much a home body...

Well, I guess I should start kids toward bed and finish up my kitchen. I had it looking half decent before leaving, now to get it the rest of the way! Later readers....

Times are stressful. Little Abigail is back in the hospital, on oxygen, not doing so great. That makes my life a little bit nutty as I have her older siblings (whom I LOVE having, but lets face it, a 5 yr old and a disabled 2 yr old DO add the the insanity) numerous days a week. And there are still boxes upon boxes in my upstairs,waiting to go live downstairs again. Did I mention Caleb likes to eat boxes? LOL

Thankfully a friend gave me some books so I can escape now and again. I also lose myself in Crossing Jordan at www.tvshack.net on a regular basis. Like to watch and work, tho too often I find myself standing just watching,caught up in some intense moment.

To bed for now. Must be bright and chipper for my kidlets in the morning. As bright and chipper as one can get when she's still coughing up a lung on a regular basis!

Little Abi, the day before she went into the hospital (last Wed)

First things first. I added a video to my sidebar. Check it out. It's written for parents of special needs kids and very well done. I listen to it a lot.

Secondly? WE HAVE RUNNING WATER. Gotta share a few pics.. (shocked ya didn't I)

what a wonderful sight it was to watch it coming up the driveway!!!

a bit of a close up...

snowplowing it's way to the well..

then digging..

once the hole was dug and the pipe exposed, the plumbers came..

and now we have running water!!!

Today the fun began as far as getting the basement fixed. The home restoration guy was here to check it out, take pictures, let us know what we needed to do and how to keep things going. We have to empty the basement. Like, empty. Beds, dressers, the whole she-bang. Not to mention the boxes of soaking wet stuff that need to be gone though and either tossed or kept. HUGE job. I mean HUGE!!! A storage room.. full.... So tonight I started in my scrapping room. So far only a few pictures. Well, enough to cover the table, stove and some counter as I have them set out to dry, but compared to my collection of pics thats not very many. I've lost books, videos, scrapbooking supplies -- not to mention an nintendo system and a bunch of games. I don't know what else is down there, but rest assured it is a lot. After we get it cleaned out they will come and gut it. Floors out, some walls out. Then they'll treat it with something that will kill any mold growing (or making plans to grow) and when that has had time to do it's thing then we can start to rebuild. I get the feeling this process isn't going to be all that fast. And in the meantime there'll be five of us living in a bungalow that isn't meant for that many! Ah, good times I am sure... (hear the doubt??)

It could have been worse. Way worse. I'm grateful for what wasn't lost and for the tremendous friends who are helping me through this. Joan with her disposable dishes, Karyn with her offer of water jugs, both of them with so much emotional support. God has blessed me!

Wonder if I had a picture for tonight...

playing around with the mirror at the hotel...

I didn't get to go to church today which really sucks. My Sunday mornings with my church family and Sunday evenings with my small group are what buoy me up for the week. However, life will go on! I was able to get a little clean up done today, that always lifts me spirits at least! I hoped to get it so clean I'd have nothing to do tomorrow. HAHa. Ah well, a girl can dream!!

A picture of my birthday girl. She didn't get much of a sweet sixteenth but in her own words "it was memorable". She loved that stuffed mouse. Too much like her mother!

I had no idea I hadn't blogged since OCTOBER! Too long. Well, lots has happened since then. After 7 months in a wheelchair I am back on my feet. My family Dr has the sense to take me OFF lipitor for a while and boom, my symptoms are gone within a week. Can't knock that! I've also been able to go off morphine, tylenol 3, buscopan and effexor. Suddenly I have been given a new lease on life and I LOVE IT.

in other news.. there is 4 inches of water in our basement, we need a rather large trench dug in the (frozen and covered by feet of snow) earth. And we have to keep the water turned OFF until this is fixed. We cheat and turn it on occasionally but when you can hear water pouring in it's motivation to get it back off. I don't want to even think about what we've lost in this, the pictures under my scrapping table in particular.

Katie turned sixteen today and as she said... it may not have been what we planned b ut it's memorable!!!

For christmas I got a laptop and i looooooooooooooove it. I really enjoyed it when I was chair and bed bound. Perhaps I should catch you all up in point form... lol Ok, since october....

Brianna goes to respite care now with the most amazing woman, AND with her best friend. They love spending the time together and Lora is awesome with them. It gives us much needed breathing room.

James turned 7.
we got two kittens
mark got a promotion at work
James learned to read (without my even knowing it!)

I bought him a grade two jump start CD set. he's finished numerous games on it without a problem, this never taught a thing child. lol

ok. I'm tired. It's after midnight. But now that I have broken into my blog --- I had to get a new password, haha, I will try to come back more often. As if anyone REALLY missed me. haha

I really have to leave a picture, this is me after all.. So I am going to my pictures and choosing one. No idea what it will be.

Kate and James playing a reading comprehension game.

The two most recent additions to our family in James' garage.. they are never ending entertainment!

winter.... snow anyone?

three of my four stooges, er, I mean children. Yes, that is more than one picture, catching up takes that!

au demain...

On April 20/2008 I wrote this blog entry....

It's been more than ten years since my hubbie and I had a break together. Ten years of catheters and dirty pull ups, the challenge of clean up bigger with each year of growth. Ten years plus since we've had a night, let alone a weekend, for US. Perhaps were our children typical children this wouldn't matter so much. However, they're not. One of them is very disabled. A second one more mildly so. Both are a lot of work and while the teenagers help out wonderfully they're not yet ready to be asked to take on a weekend. It's too much to ask a 15 yr old to change and catheterize her almost 13 yr old sister. Whats sad? She's willing to learn when nobody else is.

I just want one night. ONE. it would probably do us for another dozen years. Is it really so much to ask?

I guess so.

I've heard different reasons. They make me wonder what people actually think of us, her parents. Those who are afraid to keep her in case something happened. Do they think that we, those who love her most, don't have those fears? I once tripped over her unconsious body when I turned a corner in our house. She was about 3. Soon afterwards her sister came frantically calling me, Brianna wouldn't wake up. yes, things DO happen but I WORRY TOO. It's not just others who are afraid, we live with these fears 24/7. Every hour, every day, every week, every month. all the time, those possiblities are part of the core of our lives. Might we wake up and discover her gone again? Well, even with the precautions we take - yes, we might. Sure, I'd expect a childcare giver to be concerned - but I AM TOO. Those fears that others can't deal with for an overnight are things that we, her parents, have to consider on a daily basis too. I go to bed everynight not knowing what I may wake up to. I've taken all the precautions I can, I've done everything in my power, I pray. Knowing God is in control I pray for His peace and I fall asleep wrapped in His arms. I soo understand the fear that goes with caring for my daughter. I also understand that we need someone to step in and fill that gap for us. It's been said, I think even proved, that couples with disabled children are far more likely to divorce. I can't help but wonder if it's because of struggles like this. Because of the years and years of no breaks. It wears on a person after a while, no matter how much you love the person you are caring for.

I've posted this once and have now added a bunch more to it. It's very possible I'll add to it again. I'm really struggling with this feeling that other peoples fears will keep them from meeting needs - our needs. I'm going to begin praying mightily for someone to realize that God would get them through the same way He does us. To realize that sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone not only blesses the other person, but yourself too.

For now, I'm written out. Whether anyone reads or not makes no difference, I've released this from my mind and in so doing perhaps brought some peace. I'm about to ask God for a miracle. The miracle of a brave and loving soul for my daughter to hang out with occasionally. Someone just like my sister.....

ps. She hasn't seized since she was 5. No more little bodies that wont' wake up to worry about...

I need to share that God HAS answered that prayer. He has sent us the most AMAZING woman. She takes Brianna for days at a time, loves her like her own child, teaches her as if she were her mother. She is a gift straight from Heaven. I get time for myself, we get time as a couple and this anniversary (Nov) we are looking forward to getting away! She is, indeed, a brave and loving soul. She has Brianna and her best friend, another disabled 13 yr old. They love the time together, they love this lady, it's like a vacation every month!